Some of the individuals who submitted stories to Gum's Writing contest have asked for comments and constructive criticism. I had hoped to write this blog last week, but reality got in the way.

The following seven individuals have posted or PMed me with requests for a review of their work. So here are my comments....

1 - VihnoVerde ~ "Tropical Mayhem."

Looking at my notes, your story was a Top 5 Contender; and did in fact end up as part of my Top 5. The twist ending was nicely done. You actually used a Writer's tool that I sometimes turn to.... misdirection. Anyone reading the start of your story would assume that the dead body on the floor was human. At the end, the Reader learns otherwise; and is relieved as well as entertained by a solid short story. Nicely done.
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2 - JackPhantasm ~ "Clarity."

You admitted that your story might have turned out better, if you had concentrated on it a bit more. I have to agree. While good, I too feel it could have been better with just a bit more effort. The main thing that kept your story from being a Top 5 Contender, is that the format was better suited to that of a novel; instead of a short story. Far too much background information was provided. The Reader has to go through the background info., before getting to the short story part of the story. But the overall effort was quite good. Stick to Writing, but only when you can find the time to put in 100%.
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3 - TacticalShoe ~ "That Smell."

Very entertaining. Your story grabs the Reader's attention from the start, and doesn't let go until the very end. The comedy element makes the story entertaining too. It highlights, rather than detracts from the dark ending. It's very well-written. But the concept is not a new one. That's the only reason why it wasn't part of my Top 5. The story reminded me of the film "Love Potion #9" and one of the rare comedy episodes of the TV series, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Your story was a new take on the same concept. But I had to take points off since it wasn't an original idea. Still, your story was very well done and entertaining. I hope you continue to write, as I believe you DO have at least some talent.
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4 - Scribbler ~ "God Bless You, Aaron Hartley."

I'm sorry to say, but your story was near the very bottom of my list. (And I don't mean my Top 5 list). I'm not even sure where to begin. Best way to describe your story is like a literary version of Frankenstein's Monster. The Monster was supposed to be a human being who was put together with a bunch of "spare parts" belonging to other people. When I read your story, it felt like spare paragraphs from other stories, patched together into one story. Everything was disconnected, disjointed, very difficult to get through. And once I did, the ending made no sense. I'm honestly not trying to be an ass when I say this, but if you want to keep on writing; I'd recommend some books that teach basic writing techniques and concepts.
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5 - 36Holla ~ "The Cellphone."

Your story made my Top 5. It was everything a short story should be. I was entertained, it grabbed my attention, and the twist ending was very satisfying. There's not much I can add. Clearly you do have at least some writing talent, possibly quite a bit more. Consistency is key. If you can keep writing stories such as "The cellphone," then go for it!
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6 - WritersBlock ~ "The Butcher of Krankhafte."

Another member of my Top 5 list. You mentioned you wanted to create a horror story in the tradition of H.P. Lovecraft. Well, you succeeded. A bit longer than an average short story, but it captures the Reader's attention early on; and holds onto it.
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7 - yurgenburgen ~ "Town trouble."

What turned out to be little more than a homosexual rape story had the potential to be a lot more. I was fascinated with how the story started out. Had no idea what would happen when the new guy walked into the Gay bar. There was even some character development. (A rare thing in most short stories). I was really looking forward to how the story would progress..... And next thing that happens is a brutal, homosexual, rape scene. Your story had shock value, and nothing else..... apart from the potential to be better than what it was.
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8 - Earfetish ~ "Friends Forever."

A very well-written story about a man who decides to give in to his Dark side. A couple of technical issues regarding the making of an actual Molotov cocktail. But other than that, it was very good, overall. You just missed out on being included in my Top 5. Not because I didn't think your story was any good. But simply because I found 5 others that I thought were more entertaining. Your story, at times, read more like a monologue than a short story. It was very intense. But left no room for a suspenseful or twist ending.

- - - More comments will be added if any other individuals who submitted stories wish to have them reviewed.